Dinner at Fay's
by Lady of the Lost and Found
Summary: This is a short story that deals with the how's and why's of the relationship that the Boys have with Fay. Honestly, why would a bunch of teenage vampires bother spending time with an Italian witch and vice versa? Well, let's find out. ON HOLD
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings all.**

**This is just a short, two-chapter story that looks at the relationship between the Boys and Fay and it delves into the truth behind the actions of the vampires and the witch. It is not set in any specific time line and is really just an off-shoot from my main story-line. It answers the questions that I have been asking myself for over a year now. Why the hell does Fay care so much about these guys and why do the Lost Boys, a bunch of punk rebel vampires, bother spending time with a solitary witch whose best friends are cats? They are unlikely allies to say the least but maybe this brief glimpse into their world might bring to light the answers to my questions and maybe make sense of it all.**

**Happy Reading**

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_The sun slowly crept below the horizon of the glittering Pacific Ocean as the residents of Santa Carla came out in droves to revel in the early summer warmth and to experience the freedoms of the Fourth of July. The multi-colored carnival lights of the Santa Carla Boardwalk blinked on as the sky's deep purple shading merged into a dark blue. A few stars twinkled dimly through the smog and illumination of California's nightlife but a few stars were enough. It was the Fourth of July and every American was out to enjoy the national holiday. Everyone that is, except a certain Italian witch who busy running around the small kitchen of her three-story house in what can only be describe as a mad-panic, waving around a wooden sauce spoon in one hand and a half-chopped carrot in the other._

"Out of my _way_ Fig!" Fay hissed as she slid across the recently washed tilted floor as she made her way over to the stove that had all four burners on. The gray striped tabby ran from under Fay's feet and leapt neatly onto an empty kitchen chair as he gave her a scandalized look, one that Fay ignored as she quickly stirred the simmering tomato sauce with one hand and put the carrot down on the cutting board with the other.

"Ok, now where is that pepper. Pepper, pepper, pepper, where the hell is the pepper?" Fay muttered to herself as she tapped the spoon against the side of the pan to get rid of any leftover sauce while she blew a strand of fly-away hair out of her face. Grabbing a dishtowel, Fay quickly cleaned her hands and tossed the dishtowel over a shoulder as she gave the produce covered counter a quick scan. Seeing that the pepper was nowhere is sight, Fay hurried over to the refrigerator and flung it open, tossing this and that out of it as she scrambled to find the key ingredient to her mother's famous sugo.

Elvis poked his head in through the cat flap on the kitchen door and carefully looked around to see where Fay was. Figaro looked over his shoulder as the fluffy black cat ducked back out for a few seconds before creeping into the kitchen rear first while dragging a dead crow through the cat flap. Figaro blinked in surprised and narrowed his eyes as he glared down at Elvis.

"_Where did you get that?"_ The tabby meowed quietly as he looked over to the fridge to make sure that Fay was still occupied.

"Where the hell is that god damn pepper! Ow!" Fay yelped as a container of cream cheese rolled off of the top shelf and landed on the back of her head.

"_It's mine! I found it by the side of the road and you can't have any."_ Elvis growled in response as he proudly pawed the three day old dead crow with a paw, feeling mighty pleased with himself at his find. Figaro's skinny striped tail twitched in annoyance as he hissed softly at the black cat but made no move to get off the chair. Seeing this, Elvis got a firm from on the dead bird's wing and began to drag it across the immaculate floor, leaving a trail of bent feathers and crusted blood in its wake.

"Boys you better be behaving yourselves. If you two decide to ruin tonight, I'll beat your furry tails. You hear me? _ELVIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"_ Fay screamed as she nearly dropped the red bell pepper that she was holding in her hands when she saw the dead crow.

"_Busted!_" Figaro mewled with pleasure as Elvis froze to the spot, not knowing what to do. Fay stared at the cat wide-eyed and opened mouthed as Elvis slowly let go of the crow and looked up at Fay, his yellow eyes wide and innocent. The corner of Fay's left eye twitched as her surprised stare turned into a searing glare, one that both cats shrunk from.

"_Ok, now we run._" Figaro meowed in alarm as he jumped off the chair and tore out of the kitchen as fast as his manicured paws could carry him. Elvis was two steps behind as both cats nearly flew out of the cat flap just as Fay screeched to the high heavens as a maggot that had been working its way through the crow's skull landed on the white tiles, squirming and wriggling.

"_FIAGRO! ELVIS! YOU GET BACK HERE!"_ Fay screamed at the top of her voice as the cats booted it over the front lawn and then across the empty street. Fay's elderly neighbors, the Grisham's, looked at each other as they sat on their front porch, enjoying the nice weather while drinking glasses of home-made ice tea. They both turned in their whicker chairs as the front door was flung open and the mangled corpse was flung out onto the front yard while Fay screamed something in Italian about spending five hours cleaning the house before she slammed the door shut with a shuddering _slam._

"I wonder what's gotten into her." Mrs. Grisham asked as she picked up her knitting needles and began to click away while her husband just snorted and went back to reading the daily paper.

While Fay's cats were making a run for it, down in the sea-side cave the boys were getting themselves ready. They had just grabbed a 'bite to eat" and were about to make their way over to Fay's for what they fully anticipated to be a ten-course food fest complete with as much home-made wine that they could possibly drink. And for once they were dead on.

"God Paul will you do something with your hair? It looks like the bats have been roosting in it." Marko snorted as he hunted around the cave for his leather biker gloves that were nowhere to be seen. Paul was sprawled out on one of the battered couches that were set up along the walls of the cave, leafing through a battered issue of Sports Illustrated, Swimsuit Edition.

"Does not. And who cares? It's not like we're going to the ballet or something. It's just dinner." Paul said as he arched an eyebrow as he eyed a busty blonde in a practically non-existent bathing suit, fantasizing seeing her in certain poses.

"You wanna bet on that?" Dwayne said as he seemed to magically appear out of thin air right beside Paul. Before Paul could tell him where to shove it, Dwayne snatched the magazine out of his hands and smacked him over the head with it before darting away too fast for the eye to follow. Marko looked up just in time to see Paul launch himself off of the couch and catch Dwayne in a mid-air tackle and could only shake his head as his two fellow vampires fought over the magazine like a pair of dogs duking it out over a bone.

"What's the matter Paulie? Did I interrupt something?" Dwayne asked as he gave Paul a knowing smile, while keeping the magazine out of Paul's reach. "You know you don't have a snowballs chance in hell of ever getting her."

"Don't know what you're talkin' about pinhead, but if I were you I wouldn't be waving a red flag in front of the bull." Paul growled as he grabbed Dwayne's arm and twisted it behind his back. The magazine ended up on the floor as the two boys wrestled one another to gain the upper hand with Paul hanging on gamely while Dwayne tried every trick in the book to break his hold but to no avail.

"Bull eh? With what horns _Bessie_?" Dwayne snickered as he pulled a fast one and dropped to his knees, catching Paul completely off guard. Sizing his chance, Dwayne wrenched his arm away from Paul and kicked his leg out, sweeping Paul's feet from under him. Paul landed flat on his back with a colorful curse and as Dwayne laughed victoriously, the blonde vampire lashed out with a booted foot and nailed a direct hit to Dwayne's nether regions. From somewhere in the back of the cave Marko winced in sympathy as he heard Dwayne yelp and collapse to the floor in pain.

"That's big bad Bessie to you pal." Paul spat as he picked himself up off the floor and dusted himself off the best he could as he oh so casually stepped over Dwayne, the heel of his left boot dragging slightly so that dirt was flung into Dwayne's face. Talk about adding insult to injury.

"Are you two finished? Because if we're late again I think Fay'll make good on that threat and end up putting holy water in whatever she's making and feed it to us. I don't know about you blockheads but I think she was serious." Marko muttered over his shoulder as he continued his search over to where they kept their tools and spare engine parts for their motorcycles. He managed to find one glove hiding under the red metal tool box but the second glove was still nowhere to be seen.

"Oh she was serious. Dwayne out of every girl that you've ever met, you had to go with the only Italian in Santa Carla. Why?" David asked as he appeared at the mouth of the cave, running a hand through his hair as he gazed down at the others, taking note that Dwayne was having trouble getting to his feet and that Paul had one hell of a smug smirk on his face.

"What can I say," Dwayne replied as he winced slightly while straightening himself, "I like them feisty."

"Yeah, sure ya do. Hey Marko, get this. I hear that Italian chicks really dig submissive guys. Is it true Dwayne? Are you…submissive?" Paul asked with mock curiosity as he cocked his elbow on Dwayne's shoulder, returning the knowing look that Dwayne had given him. Instead of beating the snot out of Paul Dwayne just smiled and shrugged his arm off, not saying a word. Paul gave Dwayne a curious look before he glanced over at Marko who just shrugged his shoulders, neither of them knowing what to make of it. However before Paul could ask what that was all about David cut in because frankly he really didn't want to know what Fay and Dwayne had been up too. Unlike Paul, he had a pretty firm grip on his sex drive and didn't need a verbal commentary to get himself in a decent mood. But, then again, David wasn't you average run of the mill teenaged vampire. Truth be told he hasn't been a teenager for over forty five years and this was something that Paul liked to bring up time and time again, just to annoy David.

"You guys ready to go?" David asked as he looked over at the large black and white picture of Jim Morrison that hung on the far side of the cave. He eyed Jim for a moment before he shook his head ever so slightly, wondering to himself why he put up with all of the political niceties that came with knowing Fay Prima. Honestly he hated the girl and she hated him so there would be no love lost between them if he didn't show up tonight but then again, if he didn't go, she'd just end up using that against him later on down the line. For some unfathomable reason, women have the memory spans of elephants and they never forget the tiniest detail or misdemeanor. Whereas David could hardly recall what he did last week, Fay could put a time and date to something he said months ago.

"Yeah, just let me get my keys." Paul said as he breezed past Marko who had finally found his missing glove that had been tucked away in the empty basin of the ruined fountain. How it ended up there, God only knows.

"Don't bother man; we're not going that way." Dwayne said as he grabbed his leather jacket off the jagged iron chandelier arm that he had hung it on and shrugged it on, flicking off a speck of unwanted dirt that made itself known on his right shoulder. Like David, Dwayne was a stickler when it came to his clothing. Worn and faded that it might be, Dwayne's style tended to fall along the lines of mostly clean whereas Paul tended to favor the grime look, and his used-to-be white jeans were a testimony to it.

"Why not?" Marko asked as he looked from Dwayne to David with a questioning look on his face. David didn't even bother giving an answer. Dwayne tapped his left wrist to indicate the time and Marko quickly caught on. "Oh right."

"Well then let's get going. We're not gonna get any older just standing here." Paul said as he grabbed Marko from behind and got him in a headlock while heading for the cave entrance.

"Jeez Paul, watch the hair man!" Marko muttered as he tried to free himself without tripping over his own feet as Paul marched him up the ramp and out of the cave with David and Dwayne following. Before he let his best friend go Paul whirled him around while giving him a world class noogie, messing up the curly locks that Marko was so paranoid about.

"Kids." Dwayne snorted as he and David watched Marko land a round-house punch into Paul's stomach before chasing the metal-head up the steep wooden stairwell while shouting out various threats. The two were gone within minutes as they continued the spat in the air, taking off once they reached the cliff's edge. Instead of following the two right away, Dwayne and David took the stairs two at a time before walking towards the distant lights of the Boardwalk as they passed a joint between them, enjoying the Paul-free moment while it lasted.

"Dwayne," David began as he took a hit and exhaled slowly, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Whaddaya want to know?" Dwayne asked as he squinted up at the sky, checking to make sure that Paul and Marko were still in sight and not dive-bombing the locals in plain view. The two tended to forget that secrecy was the key to survival and it would not be the first time that Dwayne and David had to fix a rather sticky situation by knocking off any late-night witnesses.

"Why Fay?" David asked as he handed Dwayne the joint. "I mean how can you stand her? Honestly, tell me because I don't know how you put up with it."

"Put up with what?" Dwayne responded as he took the joint and inhaled, looking over at David with a questioning frown. David just sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, trying not to get too frustrated.

"With _her_. She smothers you! I mean she's like a clucking hen that won't shut up. You do whatever she tells you to and trying to argue with that chick is impossible because she'll bite your head off if you so much as disagree with her. She's like…she's like, god I can't even describe how obnoxious she can be. Fuck it if she's Italian, Italian has nothing to do with it. It's like she's trying to mother us and be the world's greatest bitch at the same time. Look at how she treats Marko. The guy's 18 and she treats him like he's six! And Paul…well, she puts up with Paul." David muttered as he stalked forward, ignoring Dwayne's curious expression as he finally got that nagging feeling that Fay had instilled in him off his chest.

"I don't know how you could let her get away with it all. She's got you by the balls Dwayne and you don't even know it." He growled as he turned to look over his shoulder. Dwayne slowed somewhat as he took another hit, exhaling slowly as he mulled over David's words. They all knew that David had a grudge against Fay but now was the first time the vampire ever went into detail about it.

"Oh I know she does." Dwayne said simply as he walked forward and handed David the joint. David's sullen expression turned to one of puzzlement as he took the joint, watching Dwayne as if the guy were some sort of newly discovered animal.

"You know?" David said, stopping where he was. Dwayne came to a halt as well and flicked a few wayward strand of hair out of his face as he did so.

"Yeah." He said calmly, his brown eyes gazing unblinking at David. The two guys just stared at one another for a few minutes, David not really believing what he had just heard and Dwayne just standing there, laid back, waiting to see what else David had to say.

"Hang on, let me get this straight. You know that Fay is a control freak who would like nothing better than to lock you up in a protective bubble for the rest of your undead life and you're ok with that?" He asked skeptically, arching an eyebrow as he finished off the rolled joint. "Dwayne…are you ok? She didn't put any sort of mind-controlling spell on you did she? Please tell she didn't do what I think she did." He exclaimed as he quickly looked Dwayne over, trying to make sure that he still as masculine as the day he was born.

Hearing this, one would think that Dwayne would take offense and do something stupid like say, attempt to knock out David's teeth or something. But no, he was cool about it. Instead of throwing a fit he just laughed.

"Relax man she didn't take a knife to me. She may be a bit over the top but she's not a psycho." He chuckled as he watched David reaction, finding it extremely funny. For a vampire who was supposed to be the poster boy of rebellion and all things rock and roll, seeing David act like a fish out of water was one of those rare moments that you never forget.

"David, when was the last time that someone gave a damn about you?" Dwayne asked as the vampire leader tried to wrap his head around what Dwayne was telling him. David blinked at Dwayne's abruptness but didn't respond. It wasn't that he didn't want to it was just that David honestly didn't know.

"I thought so." Was all Dwayne said before he turned around and started walking towards the Boardwalk once more, scanning the sky to see if he could figure out where Paul and Marko had vanished to.

"What do you mean by that?" David asked as he appeared in front of Dwayne, blocking his way so that Dwayne was forced to either stop or go around him. Instead of going around him, Dwayne just stopped because he knew that David wasn't asking him a question, he was demanding an answer.

"You really what to know why I "put up" with Fay and why Paul and Marko are head over heels for that girl?" Dwayne asked, the casual laid back easy-going manner that he had moments ago vanishing and was replaced by a stern front that was spoiling for a fight. David looked him in the eye and nodded while reminding Dwayne where his place was with a simple glare. Since he was one to never take stuff like this lying down, Dwayne walked up to David until the two were about an inch a part and made sure that the blond vampire understood every word he said.

"Because she gives a damn. No one ever gave a rat's ass about me when I was alive or even now. It's the same with the others. You and the rest of the world may think it's a load of horse shit and you know what, you might be right. But I'll tell you this David. Do you honestly think that Fay harps on your ass as much as she does because she has nothing better to do? You know what David? You can be as blind as a god damn mole rat sometimes." Dwayne snorted as he gave his head a shake and side-stepped David, leaving him to chew over the meaning of his words. "If you think I'm bullshitting you, you watch what happens tonight. If you still think I'm wrong by morning, I'll break up with Fay and eat my words." He called over his shoulder as he headed away from the twinkling lights and noise of the Boardwalk and stalked into the shadows, leaving David where he stood.

"You mean that?" David called out as he watched Dwayne's figure recede into the night, a deep frown knitting his eyebrows together as he questioned the sincerity behind Dwayne's bet. If Dwayne was willing to put his relationship on the line just to prove his point, there might be more to all this then David first thought.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't. But if I'm right David…I guess we'll cross that bridge if we come to it." Dwayne shouted back before he took off in a gust of wind, following the scent trail of the two metal-head vampires without bothering to look over his shoulder to see if David was following. Knowing David, the guy would show up at the last possible second and Dwayne wasn't going to be bothered by it. There were some things that no one could change and David's ego was one of those things. Dwayne just hoped that Fay had made enough for thirds because it had been over a month since he had last had the pleasure of enjoying her cooking and if he ever saw another Chinese take-out carton again, it would be too soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Greetings everyone.**

**Alright, I apologize for the very, very crappy chapter. I know that later on I will rewrite this one but for now, sadly this is the best I can do. I was trying to achieve an average conversation that the boys would most likely have and for some reason the almighty and divine inspiration that is the Lost Boys isn't coming through loud and clear as it used to. The mental hamster on the wheel is telling me to get my butt moving on a few other stories that I have currently put on hiatus, so I think this might be the last Fay chapter for a few months. I know if I continue on while I'm the way I am writing wise, I will not do this story as well as _House_ the justice that they deserve and the last thing I want is to scar you all for life with horrid writing. **

**So, try not to scream when you read this thing and I shall see you all in a few months.**

**Happy Reading**

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"Where are those guys?" Fay muttered around the metal bobby pins in her mouth as she twisted her bushy mane around in her hands before flipping it up onto her head in a messy roll. Carefully inserting the pins to keep her hair in place, Fay glanced over her shoulder to read the time on the mobile Felix the Cat clock that hung on her kitchen wall. It was 10:13 pm and the boys were late, as usual.

Fay walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway in order to check her appearance in the antique mirror that hung directly in front of the front door. Seeing that her hair was fine, Fay looked around, mentally checking to make sure that everything was in order. Even though it was just the four guys coming over to crash at her place that night, Fay had spent all day getting the house ready. Everything from vacuuming the carpets to scrubbing out the bathroom had been done in a mad attempt of late summer cleaning so right now, the house was spotless.

"I swear those guys couldn't get here on time if the world was coming to an end." Fay muttered to herself as she walked into the living room and pulled aside the window curtains, glancing out the window to see if there was any sign of life out in the street. Seeing none, Fay sighed to herself as she let the curtain fall back into place before she flopped onto the couch, draping her legs over the arm of the couch as she stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

"Fig?" Fay called out as she frowned slightly, catching sight of a lone cobweb in the left hand corner of the living room ceiling. How it had missed her cleaning rampage was a mystery but Fay was too damn tired to get up and brush it away so instead she made a mental note to herself to get rid of it tomorrow.

"_Merow?"_ The gray tabby cat meowed as he stuck his head into the living room, gazing over at Fay with his unblinking green eyes.

"Do you think that I'm pushy?" Fay asked as she inspected her nails, scowling when she realized that she had chewed them down to the quick. Figaro sauntered into the room, sniffing the air cautiously as he made his way over to Fay.

"_Mer?_" Figaro responded as he arched his stripped tail and flicked Fay's face as he rubbed up against the couch cushions.

"Well, do you?" Fay asked as she reached over and gently tugged his tail, scratching the end of his back so that he arched his butt into the air. Figaro mewled as he turned around and rubbed his face against her fingers, looking up at her with a curious expression in his eyes.

"Of course you don't think so. I'm the one who feeds you so you just agree to whatever I say, don't you?" Fay murmured as she rolled off of the couch and landed onto the floor, lying there with her cheek pressed against the dust-free carpet while Figaro sniffed her face, his prim whiskers tickling her nose.

Fay lay there for a few minutes, listening to the monotone ticks of the kitchen clock as minutes crept by. Realizing that the boys were going to be more than a half-an-hour late, like they always were, Fay rolled to her feet and looked around the living room. Pursing her lips as she arched an eyebrow, Fay went over to the glass coffee table and as carefully as she could, she dragged it to one side in order to create a large space in the middle of the room. Figaro watched her out of curiosity as he sat by the television, his eyes following her as she pushed the loveseat to one side as well as an end table. When that was done, Fay pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and sighed, rubbing the small of her back with her right hand.

"Ok, now where did I put that record?" Fay muttered to herself as she thought for a moment, quickly trying to remember where she had put her new Billy Idol record. Snapping her fingers, Fay pranced out of the living room and was back a minute later holding one of her favorite non-Elvis records of all time.

"You ready Fig?" Fay grinned as she tip-toed over to where she kept her record player and lifted the clear plastic lid. The sound-system on that thing was powerful enough to shake the walls of the house whenever she ever blasted her music and that was exactly what she was going to do. Why should she sit around and do nothing while the boys took their damn sweet time?

Fay smiled to herself as she carefully took the record out of its protective sleeve and placed it in the player, twisting in On/Off knob so that the needle slowly moved towards the black vinyl disc. Fay kicked off her slippers and tossed them into a corner as the sharp hiss of air filled the speakers just before the drums and lead guitar started playing. Fay laughed out-loud as she started to clap in time with the song, her head bobbing slightly as Billy began to sing.

"_On the floor of Tokyo  
Or down in London town to go, go  
With the record selection  
With the mirror reflection  
I'm dancing with myself_

_When there's no-one else in sight  
In the crowded lonely night  
Well I wait so long  
For my love vibration  
And I'm dancing with myself"_

"Oh, oh dancing with myself, oh oh dancing with myself. Well there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself." Fay sang as her fingers started snapping and her feet started dancing. Figaro pressed his ears back as Fay cranked up the volume before she danced into the middle of the carpet, hips swaying in time with the beat as she tossed her arms up over her head and started to go with the flow. Fay let out a shrill laugh as she leapt up into the air and scissor kicked before she landed on her toes and spun around, arms stretched out for balance. When Figaro could no longer stand the noise, he made a break for the kitchen but Fay swooped down and scooped him up in her arms before he could make it halfway across the room.

"_Meerrrrr!"_ Figaro complained as Fay started to dance around while holding him close to her chest. Figaro tried to claw his way out of her arms but when she spun around and around like room like a whirling dervish, Figaro just sunk his claws into her shirt and hung on while he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat…dancing with myself!" Fay sang along as she leapt onto the couch and bounced around, Figaro mewling in protest every time she landed on the cushions. As the beat of the drums made the pictures shudder on the walls, Fay crowed as she jumped up and tucked her legs under her, landing sharply on her knees, jostling the tabby out of her arms. Figaro hit the ground running and scampered out of the living room as fast as his paws could carry him before he bolted out of the cat-flap and made it outside before Fay even got off the couch.

"You wimp!" Fay shouted out-loud before she fell back onto the couch, laughing to herself as the song faded to an end.

"Oh man…I'm outta shape." Fay breathed as she tried to fan herself with her hand just as the next song started.

"Wooo! Here she comes now sayin' Mony Mony. Shoot 'em down turn around c'mon Mony." Fay sang as loud as she could as she started to recreate the dance sequence that Kevin Bacon made famous in _Footloose_ but changed it a bit, adding a bit more "pony" to it. Completely lost in her own little bubble, Fay couldn't care less about what her neighbors where saying to one another right now…and whatever they were saying wasn't anything good.

While Fay was dancing with herself, waiting for the boys to arrive, she didn't realize that one of them was already there, watching her through the part in the living room curtains. Dwayne stood an inch away from her rose bushes that were planted just underneath the large window, a small smile on his lips as he watched Fay dance about. He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Fay jump from one couch to the other, singing off key as she leapt into the air and twirled before landing nimbly on the balls of her feet. It had honestly been a while since he had last seen her dance and he couldn't help but grin as he watched her antics. When Fay was alone, a whole different person came out, one that only he really had the chance to witness. Despite Fay's boisterous, mothering, in-your-face attitude that she used around them, Dwayne knew that she always kept a part of herself under wraps and what he was witnessing right now proved it. Fay was just full of surprises.

He arched an eyebrow when she started doing an air-guitar solo to Idol's _White Wedding_. Ok that was something that he'd never seen her do before. He never realized that Fay had the knack to perform air-guitar as if she were actually playing a guitar. Heck, Dwayne didn't even know if Fay had any musical talent in her whatsoever aside from singing. But even that was questionable at times.

While Dwayne was being secretly entertained by his girlfriend's adolescent antics, Marko and Paul in the middle of playing a vampire version of tag while they swooped over Santa Carla, trying to body-check one another in mid-air while holding a deep conversation.

"So you're sayin' that if you could find one girl that you really liked you'd stay with her forever?" Paul asked as he skimmed a tree-top, snapping off a wayward twig and shoved it into the corner of his mouth as if it were a stalk of wheat. Nearing the residential area of Santa Carla, the boys didn't have to worry so much about being seen because everyone who drove or could walk to a bus stop was partaking in the numerous festivities down at the Boardwalk.

"Well, not like. I'd have to love her ya know? But yeah, if I could find someone special, I'd stay with her." Marko responded as he twirled onto his back and rode the air currents while peering up at the vast clouded sky with a slight frown on his face. "Wouldn't you?" He asked Paul as his best friend chewed thoughtfully on his twig, keeping a careful eye on the empty street that they were flying over to make sure that they weren't being watched.

"Stay with one girl for all of eternity? Hell no!" Paul snorted as he bit off a piece of the twig and spat it at Marko.

"You do that again man I'll ram that thing up your nose." Marko warned as he plucked the wood chip out of his hair and flicked it away while Paul just cackled to himself, looking very much like a wind-blown bat out of hell…the Meatloaf kind.

"Yeah whatever." Paul grinned as he threw away the twig and veered off to the right, squinting as he tried to make out a figure that appeared in a lighted window. "Yo Marko, check it out!" He crowed as he pointed to the window, slowing his speed to a sudden stop. With the curtains drawn back and the window opened to let in the night air, Paul and Marko had an excellent view of what was going on in the two story master-bedroom. Oblivious to the two pairs of eyes that were watching, the blonde woman in the bedroom toweled off her wet hair while she took off her bathrobe to enjoy the sensation of the cool air on her damp skin.

"It doesn't get better than this." Paul mused as he dived into a nearby oak tree to get a better look of the naked woman without being seen. Marko shook his head as he quickly looked around to make sure that the others weren't around to witness this before he joined Paul in the tree.

"Now if I were tied to one girl, I'd be missing moments like these bro. And there's just too much Paul for one woman to handle. I'm not home-grown like you bud. You're the type that likes to stick to your favorite food and you'd be happy with that. Me, I like a buffet of everything that life has to offer. What's the point of bein' undead when you can't fool around and enjoy it? If we were human, then yeah I'd think about it 'cause I'd know that I wasn't gonna live forever. But that's the thing Marko, we're not human so why should we have to stick to human rules?" Paul explained as he kept both eyes on the woman, enjoying the show.

"I get what you're saying Paul but don't you ever get tired of fooling around with a girl and then killing her two seconds later? I mean…where's the relationship in that? It's like all we do is fuck and eat and eat and fuck and that's it." Marko replied as he stared doe-eyed as the woman turned around to face them, leisurely brushing her hair as she hummed a tune to herself.

"And what's wrong with that? Ok, those are so fake." Paul said not daring to take his eyes off the woman as he rated the woman's rack. Being an expert of the female body, Paul had a keen eye for the real deal and this was one thing that you could not pull the wool over his eyes.

"Nothing's wrong with it, it's just that…it gets pretty…well…boring after a while." Marko muttered as his eyes followed the movements of the woman's arm as she tossed her hair forward and began brushing it from the roots to the tips. This time Paul actually pried his eyes away in order to stare at Marko. Did he just say what Paul thought he said?

"Boring? _This_ is boring? Marko what did you smoke tonight man?" Paul asked in disbelief as he reached over and put his hand on Marko's forehead, checking to make sure that Marko was at the corpse dead temperature that he was supposed to be at. Marko swatted Paul's hand away as he growled softly to tell Paul to back off.

"Hey man, you might enjoy this kind of thing day in and day out but too much of a good thing isn't my really my thing." Marko scowled as Paul just blinked and continued to stare, unable to get over what he just heard from his best friend.

"What's gotten into you?" Paul asked as he frowned and looked back over to the woman who now had her back turned to them once again and was tying back her long hair. He stared for a few moments before a thought crept into his mind and no matter how hard he tried to concentrate on the naked broad in front of him, he just couldn't.

"Wait a minute…" Paul said to himself as he slowly looked over at Marko and then at the woman before his eyes rested on his best friend. "You're not tellin' me what I think you are?"

"What?" Marko said, not knowing what Paul was hinting at.

"You and I are on the same side here, right? You're not swinging off a different tree or anythin', are you?" Paul asked cautiously as he carefully looked Marko over as if to make sure that the guy in front of him was indeed his best friend and not some look-alike doppelganger.

"Oh Jesus Paul, what do you think!" Marko snapped when he got the meaning of Paul's words. Paul just raised his eyebrows and gave Marko an uncertain look.

"What am I supposed to think?" He asked, eyeing Marko's facial expression's closely to see if he could catch him lying.

"You're an idiot Paul do you know that?" Marko snorted in disgust as he turned away from his friend and looked through the branches as he quickly scanned the sky for any sign of the others.

"Hey man, don't change the subject. So are you?" Paul asked as he kept his full attention on his friend's profile. He knew he struck a nerve because he saw Marko tense up in anger. "Well? It's a simple yes or no answer man."

"Well the answer is no you fucktard! I am not gay so can you drop it already?" Marko snarled, his baby blues instantly taking on a bright orange/yellow shine as he flipped Paul the bird and started to work his way out of the tree branches. Right now he wanted to get as far away from Paul as he could before Paul said anything else to piss him off. All he asked for was a little advice and instead his best friend was getting homophobic on his ass. Sometimes Marko really wondered how he put up with the guy.

"Ok, ok man you're straight, I get it. But you know I won't say anythin', this conversation never happened." Paul said softly as he tried to defuse the situation. Instead of making things better, he only made them worse. Not able to take the stupidity any longer Marko turned around and slammed his fist as hard as he could into Paul's face and the force behind the punch was strong enough to knock Paul right off his perch. With a loud snap and crash which was instantly followed by a painful yelp, Paul landed flat on his face in the woman's backyard as Marko took off into the sky without looking back, silently fuming as he left his friend behind.

"What'd I say?" Paul muttered to himself as he gingerly touched his jaw where Marko had hit him. It was sore but not broken. Holding back a groan, Paul rolled onto his side and looked up at the tree to see if Marko was still in it but the branches was empty. The window, however, was not.

"'Sup babe?" Paul asked as he grinned slyly at the woman as she stared wide eyed and opened mouth down at Paul before she found her voice and screamed, crossing her arms over herself as she ducked out of the window and out of sight. Paul let out a wolf howl as he cackled to himself, his good mood quickly returning as he rolled to his feet and dusted himself off.

"Get out of here _you jerk!_" The woman screamed as her hairbrush was sent flying out the window and missed Paul by a few inches.

"What's the matter? You don't like standing ovations?" Paul asked as he sent an approving whistle her way and got a hairdryer in the chest for his troubles.

"I'm calling the cops!" The woman screamed as she slammed the window shut, locked it and then quickly drew the curtains. Paul just laughed and made a crass gesture before he turned and strolled away, whistling to himself. He wasn't too far from Fay's house so he decided to walk it in order to give Marko some time to cool off because in all honesty, he didn't want to get punched in the face again and if he knew Marko, that's exactly what that guy would do to him if given the chance.

Instead of walking on the sidewalk like a normal law-abiding citizen, Paul cut across lawns, hopped fences and crept through backyards, taking the shorter route and the one less traveled. One or two dogs picked up on his scent but Paul shut them up with a dangerous growl that sent the mutts cowering in the corner of their doghouses, so for the most part it was pretty uneventful. But then again this was Suburbia, the land of the Middle-Class. Nothing bad ever happened around here…until now that is. Only Paul could think up something so utterly disgusting in regards to a dead raccoon and a barbecue that when Mr. and Mrs. Smith woke up in the morning and looked out into their backyard, they would both vomit onto their morning papers.

Washing the evidence off his hands in a nearby neighbor's pool, Paul looked over his shoulder just in time to see Elvis slink out of the shadows and plod towards him, his fluffy tail trailing behind him on the grass.

"Hey little dude, how's it goin'?" Paul asked when Elvis rubbed himself against Paul's leg and meowed pitifully. "What? Figaro gangin' up on you again?" He asked as he picked up the cat and held him in one arm, scratching his head with his free hand. Elvis began to purr like a lawnmower as Paul carried him out of the backyard and headed down the street towards the corner of Alexandria Drive and Washstone Street. Even though Paul really wasn't much of a cat person, he didn't mind it when Elvis began to gnaw on a lock of his hair. He always thought that Elvis was the head-banger of cats due to the fact that he had never seen any cat snort a vast amount of cat-nip in less than a minute. That's right, snort. Elvis was just as much of a cat-nip junkie as Paul was a pot-head. So the kinship between the cat and the vampire was self-explanatory. Go figure.


End file.
